It's been too bleeding long since I went to a goddamn skirmish, and I don't want to pay for shit right now, so we're going to rock it old-school at Scappoose.
Cost: bleeding FREE
Age Limit: Old enough to not piss me off
When: Saturday the bleeding 28th. At 10:00 in the bleeding morning.
Where: the Scappoose field, I bleeding said that already.
Why: shazaam you.
We're playing the version of the three-way capture the bleeding flag that I used to run at Scappoose back before I started working at CAGE.
1. The object of the game is to capture BOTH of the enemy flags and bring them back to your bleeding base.
2. Before you can capture a flag, you have to change the two sector control markers to your bleeding team’s color (they will be located near the flag). Both sector controls must be flipped to your team’s color before you can grab the bleeding flag. Sector controls can be changed by any team as many times as needed.
3. Your base is not your bleeding respawn, it'll be a decent distance away so you can't bleeding shoot people taking your flag from your base. That'd be bleeding cheap.
4. Don't fight through the goddamn respawn, you idiots. This may mean you have to bleeding maneuver.
5. Do not team up with another bleeding team. It's not fun after about 10 minutes, and it gets really bleeding lame.
6. If you’re shot while carrying a flag, you drop it in place. Don’t bleeding throw it to another teammate.
7. Don’t bleeding hang out in your respawn. Jesus bleeding Christ, it’s such a pain in the a$$ to have your flag taken because 1/3 or your entire bleeding forces are picking each other’s a$$ in the respawn. shazaam with your gear in the parking lot before the game and after the game. Socialize at DQ after the game. We haven’t had a decent skirmish in ages, so get out there and PLAY.
If the turnout is too small for a three-way game, we’ll split in half and play with two bleeding teams (and there will be 3 sectors per flag). I’d like to have about 20 bleeding players per team (or somewhere thereabouts). Count on armbands for team designations, unless we’re able to split by camo.
Also, show the shazaam up on time. It shouldn’t be too much to ask to get to a game on time, and when we have to bleeding place you on a team after the game has already bleeding started, the whole point of splitting the teams evenly is lost. The game starts at 10:00am, that doesn't mean get there at 10:00am. Get there early so you have time to gear up and shazaam around. I'll be there between 8:30 and 9:00am.
Don’t count on there being a lunch break. Bring a sandwich in a bag and keep it at the respawn. Eat a big breakfast, whatever. Every time we stop for lunch, there’s this huge bleeding group of people that puss out and go home afterwards. Don’t be a bleeding cute kitty.
Field Directions:
Take HWY 30 all the way into bleeding Scappoose, past Fred Meyer and the red bleeding Peace Candle, past the damn school, through downtown and shit
Take a bleeding left at the light for Scappoose-Vernonia Hwy (there will be a set of train tracks running parallel to the goddamn road, and the left turn lane is a lot longer than normal)
Take that all the way to Cater Rd, and take a bleeding right. The right turn is a pretty sharp one, so it's kind of distinctive. There's also a sign a few hundred feet before the turn and shit that announces the road name before you get there.
From Cater Rd, slow the shazaam down (since you're in a neighborhood), and take a left onto Alder Creek Rd. There's a house on the corner with a very ugly-ass wood-pole fence for visual reference. It should be the first or second turn after you get onto Cater Rd.
When on Alder Creek, be careful driving. Be respectful of the fuckers living in this area. Follow Alder Creek Rd all the way, there are a few twists and turns, but it's nothing you can figure out if your eyes are open. You'll know you're going the right bleeding way when the road goes to one-lane (and there's a sign designating this, dumbass), and when you see large pipes and broken down trucks along the sides of the road. Keep going, the road goes to gravel and you're almost there.
Follow the gravel until you see everyone, and find a spot on the side of the road to park.
Bring your potty mouths.
