Sing with me the national song of our beloved Bongostan – Bongostan, greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by homosexuals and little girls. Bongostan number one exporter of dust, other countries have inferior dust…..
I, Mohammad Bin Mohammad, will no longer allow Bongostan to be the laughing stock of the Islamic World. No longer will we accept Peace in Bongostan, or the absence of Western Occupation Forces and their Money on our sacred soil. Today, we declare war on the Civilized, and Uncivilized world. Insallah.
Join the Bongostan Armed Militia Force
Uniform
Required - non-military pants, non-military vest, non-military tunic, pakol, chicom chest rig. Optional - up to 1 item of pre-1990 camouflage per person. Absolutely no Helmets, MOLLE or ALICE gear as those offend Allah as illustrated in Surah 13:37 of the Holy Quran (And thus we have revealed it as an Arabic legislation. And if you should follow their inclinations after what has come to you of knowledge, you would not have against Allah any ally or any protector)
Weapons
Ak47, AK47S, AKSU74, AK74, RPK, AK74S, or Ppsh required. Must be decorated with Pakitape, bells, bullets that dont match the weapon, paint, drawings, stickers, etc. No filthy Jewish weapons are allowed, or weapons designed in the Great Satan America or elsewhere in the west. Absolutely no rails, optics or sound suppressors, as those offend Allah as illustrated in Surah 35:8 in the Holy Quran. (Then is one whom the evil of his deed has been made attractive so he considers it good. For indeed, Allah sends astray whom He wills and guides whom He wills. So do not let yourself perish over them in regret. Indeed, Allah is Knowing of what they do.)
No Girls Allowed. Women, it would be better if you put on your burkas, keep your eyes to yourself, and make us some most halal sandwiches. Your place is the kitchen, where you will not dishonor your family unless your sandwiches are not deliciously halal - as illustrated by the 6th Ruku during recitations of Surah 15 (Specifically Surah 15:85-99). And Keep Your Eyes To Yourself, Woman!
Members of the Bongostani Armed Militia Force are expected to follow a certain code of conduct:
1) we will always be offended by other groups racism, and intolerance of our culture and religion.
2) we will always be offended by everything that every other group does, as their conduct offends Allah and Islam.
3) we will never play airsoft while observing Holy Ramadan, unless we decide to play during Holy Ramadan (in which case, we will be offended by other groups failure to observe Holy Ramadan)
4) we will never follow orders from a commander other than Allah, for he is the one true god and Mohammad is his prophet.
5) we will only honor and respect fellow Bongostani, for other groups offend Allah and are thus not worthy of honor and respect.
6) Pigs will be unclean to all Bongostani, except for Bacon which is most Halal when in packaged with Tomato and Lettuce a little bit of Mayo between two slices of Franz Bread. This is illustrated very well in Surah 43:11 (And who sends down rain from the sky in measured amounts, and We revive thereby a dead land - thus will you be brought forth).
7) Beer and other intoxicants will also be unclean to all Bongostani, except where the beer and other intoxicants are most halal and have been blessed by the Imam of the Mosque at Bir Kegg (Surah 4:20 - But if you want to replace one wife with another, and you have given one of them a great amount, do not take from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?), after blessings they may be used to allow Bongostani men to attain a new appreciation for that which Allah has given us. Blessed beer may not be given to the filthy dogs of the Western Occupation Forces, for they are unworthy and they eat and drink with their most unclean and foul left hand.
8 ) Our shots go where Allah wills. In the name of Allah, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merficul, do not waste your time - point your weapon at the enemies of Islam and cut loose with a hail of Allahs blessed bullets. Let Allah guide the bullets where he wills them as we are taught in Surah 1:7 (The path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have evoked anger or of those who are astray).
9) We're an 18+ organization. While we appreciate the enthusiasm of the under 18 crowd, we can't accept you into our loving arms. However, we would be proud to strap blocks of explosives to your chest and direct you at the nearest agents of the Western Occupation Forces so you may ascend on a column of superheated gases to Paradise, where Allah will bestow 72 lovely virgins on Heroes of our Mighty Islamic Jihad against the Civilized and Uncivilized world. Surah 18:10 is most clear on this (Mention when the youths retreated to the cave and said "Our Lord, grant us from Yourself mercy and prepare for us from our affair right guidance").
Insallah!
If you are so mentally deficient as to not understand that this is an Airsoft Team, and not a Terrorist Organization, please, go back to the beginning and read it again. Does this look like the manifesto of anyone who is really an Islamic Jihadist bent on bleeding over the world, or does it look like an over-the-top explosion of retardation that spends its time mocking Airsofter Teams, Islam, The Taliban, Al Queda, Hamas and retards everywhere? Do the Surah’s quoted even make sense when you look at the context that they’re placed in? And for fucks sake, can you even find Bongostan on a map, anywhere? Last time I looked it was somewhere between Iraq and A Hard Place.
Current Members:
Pope Alex Kaeda
McNair
Pickles
Darius
Pancho(Kyle)
Keebler The Jew
Kuzman
